While my husband, Todd, drove us home from the hospital, I sat in the back and held our newborn daughter's head straight in her car seat the whole way. It felt weird to be out in the world and responsible for this tiny, floppy-necked being. When we got home, I carried Kate's seat up the stairs, put it on the floor, sat down, and stared at her.
Day One at Home
After prying my eyes away from my sleeping daughter, the first thing I do is take a shower. It's not easy, considering my c-section incision. The doctor said I could get it wet, but I'm leery. I also don't want water hitting my sore, engorged breasts, so washing my hair is awkward if not nearly impossible.
Then I resume my main job as Mum: feeding Kate. This, too, is not as easy as it sounds. You read that breastfeeding isn't supposed to hurt, but at the beginning, it does, even if you're doing it right. Kate is a natural, but I'm not -- I tense up when she opens her mouth and frantically shove the nipple in before she can clamp down in the wrong place. It's really nerve-racking.
Day Two: Sleep, Please!You hear about new parents being exhausted, but in the first few days you can run well on adrenaline and mysterious Mummy Hormones. Then, slowly, the lack of sleep starts to not only catch up with you but overtake you and rule your life. On our second night at home we don't know all that yet, and we're content to steal sleep when we can. Kate mostly dozes on my chest or Todd's -- we pass her back and forth.
Day Three: Feeding FrenzyThis is how the mornings go: I feed Kate, who promptly gets the hiccups (she'll hiccup almost constantly, it seems, throughout her first few weeks). Todd makes me breakfast and holds her while I wolf it down. Then she's ready to feed AGAIN. When she falls asleep afterward, I'm afraid to put her down because she might wake and want to eat yet AGAIN.
Physically -- well, my thighs and ankles are still disgustingly swollen. I'm always thirsty. My belly button has already gone from flat to a simple outie -- I can't imagine getting my innie back, but they say it'll happen!
We take Kate to the doctors. She was 7 pounds 1 ounce at birth, 6 pounds 8 ounces when we left the hospital, and 6 pounds 14 ounces now. (It's typical for newborns to lose a few ounces right after birth and then gain them back.) The doctor wants her back at her birth weight in three days, which seems very doable.
Day Four: UnravellingTodd has some work to do, but luckily I have family support. My sister and her husband come over in the afternoon and let me take an amazing 90-minute nap. I need it because my nerves are fraying. Kate cries after nursing and I don't know what to do. What can I use to comfort her other than milk, burping, and cuddles?
I feel like I'm the one who needs to be mothered. And fortunately, my Mum arrives that night with plans to stay for two weeks. I don't think I've ever been so glad to see her.
Day Five: Frustration!Todd works all day, and then he has the nerve to go to sleep at 10pm while I sit with Kate, stewing. Granted, I'd suggested that he doze, but I didn't think he'd actually take me up on it! He redeems himself by getting Kate back to sleep after the 1am feeding.
Day Six: We're Back to the DoctorsKate is at her birth weight! All that breastfeeding seems to be doing its job. Now we just need to focus on her sleeping at night. She's so cute!
Week Two: The Crying ContinuesMy new plan is to get Kate to nap in her bassinet. Swaddling her helps some -- at one point she even naps for an hour and a half, which feels like a miracle. But then nights turn hard again. Why is it that when you have a little victory on one front, something goes wrong on another? As Kate bawls at 3am, we dare to look up "colic" in our baby book. But she doesn't cry in any kind of pattern. We pace the floor holding her, then try running water in the bathroom. Finally Todd rocks her back and forth on his arm with her head in his hand, like he saw the Midwivies do in the hospital. It seems to help.
Week Two Ends: More Family ArrivesMy Dad arrives. He seems a little stunned to realise he's actually a grandfather! Todd and I take our first walk with Kate in a sling. But it keeps bumping my belly, and I'm constantly reaching in to make sure she's breathing and isn't cold. If the point of the sling is to have your hands free, it doesn't seem to be working.
Tod and I open the baby massage box we were gifted when I was pregnant, Top watched the video so he knew what to do! We chose our time carefully and did 4 minutes of Massage I think Kate liked it, well she didn't cry and just looked at us, we definitely going to do the massage tomorrow!
Week Three: Hormones Fluctuate Kate's grasping things now -- fingers, my shirt -- while she nurses. I'm starting to relax while I feed her, gazing at her adorable little profile. I like that I'm the only one who sees her from that angle. A friend who had a baby a few months ago says that in a month I'll be able to breastfeed while typing and talking on the phone. I can't imagine it! Positioning seems all-important now.
I'm healing nicely, and, shockingly, I've lost 20 pounds already. But my hormones are still raging. For instance, I buy Kate a sweater, and when the cashier asks if I need a gift receipt, I say, "No, it's for my daughter," and promptly tear up. I also get sad seeing my parents leave -- I think the fact that we're halfway across the country from them will be more palpable now.
We following the massage videos and massaging Kate every evening, she loves her robe, we feed her in her robe, it keeps her really warm, massage, feed and sleep, well that is the plan.
Week Three Ends with a SplashWe finally get up the guts to give Kate her first tub bath. It takes all of a minute; we're paranoid about her getting cold. When we dry her off quickly and straight into her massage robe, it keeps her lovely and warm, her hair looks all sweet and curly. We now feed, bath, quickly dry, into her robe, massage, feed and sleep, it works some evenings!
Week Four Begins: Feeling like a MumOn our first day alone together (Todd's back at the office), I take Kate to get her picture taken for her birth announcement. I'm so proud to successfully stroll her around by myself! But the feeling of accomplishment dwindles as the week continues. The huge truth of new motherhood hits me: My time is no longer my own. Full-time, relentless baby care is hard to get used to. I do however love the time we have together when I am massaging Kate. Can I massage her more than once a day???
Since Todd is now commuting again, he's trying to get to sleep at a decent hour. I, on the other hand, stay up rocking a crying baby. I feel angry, and yet when he offers to help, I bark at him to go back to sleep. Hormones, hormones.Part of what I do to pull myself together is attend a new-Mums' group. It's such a relief to talk to women who know exactly how I feel!
We are sticking to the massage routine at night even when I am really tire, I like the 1-1 time with Kate and it feels like something so lovely and positive we share. Although it is not the same time every night we have moved onto the next video!
Week Four Ends ExplosivelyBabies are messy. I do laundry a lot. Kate's already had her first explosive nappy, soaking all the way through her clothes. She's also had her first projectile sick-up, managing to soak her car seat, herself, my trousers, and the floor in one spectacular move. But babies are also adorable. She makes little "oh" noises when she sees me or Todd, and we melt.
Week Five:
More Mummy milestones: I figure out how to use a front carrier and go for a walk that way. I breastfeed in public for the first time, at the new-mothers' group. We go out to eat with friends, and Kate sleeps in the pushchair, allowing us plenty of adult conversation. And I have my first freak-out one afternoon, when I think she's choking. But she's crying furiously while coughing -- so obviously she's fine, and the incident passes.
For the first time Tod did the Feed/Bath/Massage/Feed routine, it was so lovely to see them together!
There are more baby milestones, too: Kate starts using her play mat and napping in her bassinet fairly regularly. Finally, at five and a half weeks, Kate smiles -- she crinkles her eyes while moving her mouth!
Week Six: Life ResumesIn other news, we have her 6 week check. Kate is 9 pounds 6 ounces and 23 inches long. The doctor says to expect a week-six growth spurt and warns me that Kate will constantly want to nurse (as though she doesn't already!). Feeding her whenever she's hungry is exactly what I should do (it's nice to have my natural instinct justified). Kate is brilliant at tummy time, the K'nuffel has made such a difference She pulls her head right up and holds it there. We're so proud!
She seems to make a leap in consciousness, paying much more attention to toys, for instance. She also rolls from her tummy to her back -- maybe by accident, but it's still pretty momentous!
Though I'll find myself saying this many times during Kate's first year, it seems like we're finally getting a handle on things Todd and I are feeling more confident about being parents, and Kate has an obviously emerging personality.
Though it's been exhausting and sometimes upsetting, I wouldn't call these first six weeks horrible. Even when I feel nauseous from lack of sleep or sob for an hour along with my baby, all I have to do is look at her and feel that unbelievable love, and it's somehow worth every minute.
We have moved onto the next massage video and we are massaging Kate for about 12-15 minutes most evenings. Tod absolutely massaging Kate he loves that is in one bonding he can do with her,
Comentários